Being Obsessive

Obsessed.

I feel too obsessed. Too obsessed. I think the word obsessed already implies the word too in it!

I am tracking data and I enjoy that part of this process. My smart scale tells my phone how much I weigh and a bunch of other stuff like BMI.

I am the lowest weight I've been in my non-teen life right now, 178.5. And that's good. And I'm am grateful. 

But I'm not down to my goal yet. In fact, I'm not exactly sure what my goal weight is. I'm not even sure if I need to know what that number is...

My BMI is sitting at 25.5 and my smart phone colors that as orange to let me know that this number needs improving. To have what is considered a "normal" BMI should be under 25. 

These are just numbers that are somewhat helpful. 

But my belly still hangs over my belt. Not like it used to. But there it is. That's the measure I am looking to change. I want a flatish belly. Ish. 

I want to look down and visually see my belt buckle. I remember being able to do that 40 year ago. 

Right now, I seem to be struggling with the mental part of all of this. I am feeling the challenge of these last 10 pounds. 

I'm still intermittent fasting. 

I'm tempted to go harder on that. But I have not liked going harder than one meal a day. That's my current feel-good kind of fast. 

To go harder would be pulling a few 30 or 36 hour fasts. My body has plenty of fuel just sitting there waiting to be consumed. 

Also, I'm having a food issue. I think I need to be more careful with fruit to get down to my maintenance weight. I've been eating a lot of cherries this summer. And I think this has brought back some carb cravings. 

I also eat chocolate several times a week.

I'm thinking I might go fruit free and chocolate free until I hit 160 something. 

The other piece is that we have been drinking some awful coffee at home. And I can't drink it without heavy cream in it. 

Now, the experts are all over the map  over whether this is okay or not, whether it breaks a fast. One author has described this as a dirty fast. 

What I'm saying is that I believe that I will need to get locked into a clean fast for the next 10 pounds or so. And maybe well into maintenance. 

It's all been an adventure.